


The threat is real

by Hikikomori_Ho



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Homophobia, Sickfic, i don't know why i put the main character through so much..., this is my sadistic side writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-23 21:44:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16626974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikikomori_Ho/pseuds/Hikikomori_Ho
Summary: In which there is an 8th member to monstaX. and the members have to take care of him all the time because of the things that keep happening to him.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!  
> I wanted to write a sickfic but didn't have the heart to make one of my precious members feel pain even as a fiction so.... i made up another member and let him suffer,lol!

It was just another day at the practice room when the CEO came in and told the boys another trainee will soon join the company. They were all curious as to what kind of personality would he have and if they could get along well. The next day, CEO gathered them together.

" Alright, everyone. there are two reasons why i have called you here today. First, i want you to meet our new trainee, August." and with that came inside the room a tall boy and they were all stunned by his looks. he had dark brown hair which later on they found out was natural and honey brown eyes. his skin was pale but not as pale as wonho. he was slim but had muscles. esp on his biceps and his abs were like 20 pieces instead of 6. but no-one would know he had such angry muscles under the shirt cuz his face was just so innocent and baby like.

' hi, my name is August. I'm from Austria and i'm 18.' with that he bowed and went to sit with the hand sign of the CEO.

" ok, the second reason is, we are going to put on a show for you guys. it's called no mercy and we will choose 8 people to debut by the end of the year." 

" you mean like a survival show?" shownu asked

" yes, exactly that." ceo said

" and will the new boy be included as well? i mean he just joined!" one of the trainees added

" yes he just joined but august had been training under YG for 2 years now but he chose to leave due to some personal matters." ceo replied

when CEO left, everyone turned their gazes to the new boy. 

" you had the chance to become a YG artist and you left? why the fuck?..! " minhyuk said

you could tell August was a really shy guy or really polite. or you know... really not the talking type of guy! they haven't figured him out at all yet.

August stared at minhyuk for a good 20 seconds, like he was trying to understand his question.

' ah... ne... they wanted me to debut with a group of people i didn't really like.. besides the concept they wanted to give us wasn't my taste.. ' it took him forever to talk and when he finally did he didn't talk loud. just enough volume for others to hear.

jooheon laughed at his answer " you left freaking YG cuz of that? man you are a free spirit!" 

" and to think he was about to debut under YG!! and he DECLINED!! OMG! i'd kill to have that opportunity!!" kihyun said

august just smiled awkwardly and decided to not say anything more about it.

 

 

 

Around three weeks have passed since he joined starship. he's been getting along well with the hyungs and they have come to like him a lot actually. and the feeling is mutual as he loves being there with them as well. he never causes any trouble really. he wakes up the first time kihyun calls his name. he is clean so wonho won't have to tell him to wash up over and over again as he does to hyungwon and jooheon! he is neat so another reason for kihyun to like him further! he is good at dancing so hyungwon and shownu enjoy dancing with him while he gives his opinions about some moves and they find those really useful. he has an amazing vocal range and a sweet sexy voice that even they enjoy listening to but august himself keeps telling wonho how he looooves the smooth tone of hyung's voice. to top all that, he is still a kid pretty much and minhyuk babys him alot! he would fall asleep wherever and the hyungs always have to put a blanket on him! and jooheon? well jooheon just adores this kid too much. he loves the way this kid is horrible at rapping! he's never seen anyone so horrible in his life but he makes august to rap for him just so he can die from the cuteness of his struggle while doing so and then later on squishing him hard.

 

and for august? 

he loves every one of them for all they are. 

he loves how emotional and soft wonho is, yet its best not to get him angry cuz his gaze is enough to kill a tiger.

he loves the fatherly vibe to shownu. how he dances all night long and is there for others.

minhyuk for well... spoiling him so much! he can't lie! he loves the feeling.

kihyun for the amazing food he makes and for nagging and nagging until the dorm is clean cuz august really can't stand mess either.

hyungwon for being absolutely harmless but you shouldn't get him on his wrong side cuz he will spit fire! 

and jooheon for his kind heart and the cute aegyos.

 

 

a week from now, the survival show would begin and although it means more than half of them will be eliminated, they are all still pretty friendly.


	2. Two

No mercy had ended and here they were. 8 members under the name of Monsta X. They loved the name so much. They kept saying it out loud at the dorm repeatedly. a new friend had joined them as well. Changkyun. the members were slightly against him at first but they grew to love him when they got to know him little by little. They were given a two-day break. August decided to go camping with his cousins that came to visit him. He was all shy and quiet, sure, but the energy in this guy was endless. he would crawl up the walls and jump from the top of the cliff in the river and so on. but the members haven't seen that side of him yet. so when he came back all covered in bruises and wounds they were literally shocked and worried and speechless at the same time. 

he had scratched all over his hands and chest and bruises on his ribs and hip. 

when he first came back to the dorm he tried to cover himself but he knew they'd eventually find out and they did.

he was just out of the shower and was putting on his clothes. he had put on his pants but was shirtless when minhyuk walked in. and he panicked immediately.

" OMFG!! WHAT IS THIS? WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN BRUISES??" minhyuk shouted and with that wonho, shownu and kihyun came rushing to the room.

' it's ok hyung. it's just a bruise. '

" JUST A BRUISE? yah! how did this happen?" wonho shouted this time

' i was climbing this tree and a branch just broke and i fell down.'

" ok...... WHAT?!" minhyuk~

' really hyungs! it's nothing serious. just a bruise from the hit. doesn't even hurt!' 

kihyun came close and put his finger on one of the bruises and pressed it and august just let out a cry from the pain.

" doesn't even hurt you say?! come on, we're going to see a doctor." he said

' what? no! of course if you press on it like that it hurts. seriously! i'm NOT going to the hospital!!!' august said in a state of panic.

they had never seen him panicked before so it was a new side of him to them. and it got them surprised as to why he acted in such a way.

" what's wrong august? why don't you wanna see a doctor? we just wanna make sure your body's ok." minhyuk said as he was petting the boy on the head.

' i'm ok!ok?? i hate hospitals and i hate doctors so just let me be! ' he snapped and got out of the room. 

the hyungs exchanged looks between themselves, not knowing what just happened. 

to say that the bruises were completely painless is a lie. they hurt. like a lot! but he would endure it cuz he just hated hospitals that much. and the reason was he had to watch his parents die when he was 13 and the doctors couldn't do anything. they kept telling him they'll be ok and that they weren't injured badly but they ended up dead. they lied to him and couldn't keep their promise. they died at the heart of a medical center and the doctors didn't do shit to save them. He always believes in what people say and so he did believe that he'll have his parents back soon but then one day he woke up to the news of losing both of them on the same day. and with that, he swore to never go back to a hospital ever again.

 

shownu came to the living room to see where the maknae went ( in this story, August is the maknae)

he found him in front of the TV, playing games with jooheon. it was another odd thing cuz august had never shown any interest in games before. whenever they'd sit to play, he'd just read a book or scroll down through his social media or sleep or something.  but now, he was at it! killing every enemy in cold blood. 

two hours had passed and august was feeling hot. he kept asking if the cooler was on. and he was beginning to feel really tired and dizzy so he decided to just go to bed.

( he was in a room with wonho, minhyuk and hyungwon )

he entered the room and tried going up to his bed but wasn't able to stretch his body that much. he was in so much pain, besides his head was so dizzy he couldn't really make the climb in that state. so he decided to sleep in minhyuk's bed instead. he lied down and dozed off immediately.

when minhyuk came to the room and found august in his bed, he smiled at the sight of the boy sleeping so innocently. but was sad to see the clear sign of pain on his face. wonho and hyungwon entered the room as well.

" why are you standing here like this?" wonho asked

" just looking at august. he is clearly in pain." minhyuk said

" in pain? why? " hyungwon raised his eyebrow

" he fell off a fucking tree and his ribs are all bruised but refused to go to the hospital." minhyuk answered

" why do you think he snapped like that when we talked about going to the hospital anyways?" wonho said

" i have no idea. but tomorrow if he's not feeling better i'm gonna drag him there if i have to." minhyuk said and with that the turned off the lights and went to bed.

 

 


	3. Three

With all the talking about hospital and doctors, every memory that august had tried so hard to forget had rushed back to the front of his memory. the image of his parents' corpses. the blood when the accident occurred. everything. 

and now he was having a nightmare. again. minhyuk woke up, thinking someone was on the phone but then he realized it came from august and that he was talking in his sleep. but what made him jump down to his side was the fact that he realized he was actually crying in his sleep. talking german so he couldn't really understand what he was saying. ( he is half Korean, half Austrian) he decided to wake him up, figuring he is having a nightmare. his body was covered in sweat and his face in tears. he called august's name a couple times but no reaction.

he decided to shake the poor maknae but as soon as his hand touched his skin, he was shocked. the poor kid was burning up in fever. minhyuk panicked and started shaking and calling august's name louder and from that wonho woke up. rubbing his eyes he looked at the panicking minhyuk 

" what's going on?" wonho asked

" august is burning up in fever and i can't wake him up" 

with that, wonho jumped out of his bed, suddenly fully awake. he put his hand on the maknae's forehead and was shocked to feel how hot he was. 

" we should wake kihyun up. and the manager."  wonho said as he went out of the room

minhyuk kept trying to wake august up but was never successful and the kid kept crying and mumbling things he couldn't understand.

not long after, wonho rushed back in along with kihyun,shownu and the manager. 

" why is he like this? " manager hyung asked and the guys told him everything they knew.

" well you had to tell me that so i could force him to go to the hospital. look at him! he's in so much pain." manager said

"should we take him now?" shownu asked

" OF-FUCKING_COURSE WE SHOULD. wonho hyung help me change his clothes first." kihyun said

" i'm gonna go get the car ready. shownu, you and wonho take him down ok? " manager hyung said

shownu nodded and wonho went to august's side. picked him up and made him sit putting his head on his shoulder cuz the maknae's body was completely numb. 

they changed his clothes and shownu put august on his back while wonho was walking behind them, making sure august wouldn't fall off. kihyun took extra clothing for august just in case and left with them. minhyuk wanted to tag along as well but was told to stay in case they needed someone to bring something from the dorm to the hospital.

 

they were in the mini-van on their way to the hospital. wonho held august in his arms, his head on his shoulder. the maknae's body moved intensely and he opened his eyes a little bit.

" where am i?" he asked in a low, shaky voice.

they all turned to look at him. kihyun pushed august's hair off his face and checking on his temperature " in the car, we are taking you to the hospital." he told him

with that, august started to struggle with the little to no strength he had. he wanted to get out of the car right then and there. but wonho held him still " august, stop it. you have a fever and are in pain. you need to see a doctor." 

' no. no doctors. i hate them. please.' he was really begging them and they all felt like crying at the sight of that. wonho's eyes were already glassy as the boy kept on begging them to let him go. at some point, august fainted again and went quiet.

 

they arrived at the hospital and shownu piggybacked the maknae to the emergency section.

the nurses laid him down on a bed and started to check on his condition.

" we have to take pictured from his ribs to see if anything is sprung or broken." the doctor said

with that they took him away. around 30 minutes later they informed the guys that they have brung him into a room and that they can go see him.

they entered the room to find august sleeping calmly. no sign of pain on his face. and his body temperature had come a little low.

the doctor entered around an hour later with the pictures in his hand.

" Fortunately nothing is broken. but there's a spring on one of his ribs and he just has to be careful not to put pressure on it. the fever though is completely unrelated to his injuries. maybe caused by trauma or something." the doctor said

" well then can we take him home?" the manager asked

" yes but after the serum finishes. and keep checking on his temperature when you're discharged. just in case." the doctor stated

 

45 minutes later and they were on their way back to the dorm. August was half awake sometimes and when they arrived: " here, put him on my back." shownu told wonho

wonho was gonna do as he was told but then august resisted " no hyung, i can walk." 

" i know you can but now we're gonna carry you." kihyun said

they tried to do so again but august resisted again " i can walk." with that, he got out of the car, trembling and stumbling and shownu caught him just in time before he collapsed.

" don't be stubborn august." shownu said as he piggybacked him to the dorm.

in the dorm everybody was awake. it was now 6AM but somehow they all knew what happened.

 

" what happened? is he ok? " changkyun ran to the door

minhyuk helped shownu put august on his bed.

" he's fine. just a spring on a rib." wonho said

" but why does he have a fever?" hyungwon asked

" they said it's not because of the injuries." wonho replied

" then what's the reason?!" hyungwon asked again

" i don't know won-ah" wonho replied

" kihyun, you stay with him. the rest of you, go wash up and get ready." manager said

 

 

 


	4. Four

It was 6 PM when the members came back. as soon as they set foot in the dorm, they looked for august. they found him in minhyuk's bed, still sleeping. shownu went close to him and checked on his temperature. " his fever is gone." he said.

kihyun came out of the bathroom " oh you came back? " 

" yeah.. how's he?" wonho asked

" his fever is out but he was in pain when he woke up a couple hours ago so he took some painkillers and dozed off again." kihyun answered

" i'm gonna beat his ass up when he gets better, why the fuck did he climb a tree for?" jooheon said irritated and worried

" YAH! are you for real right now??" minhyuk yelled at him

august's body moved intensely at the sound and he slowly opened his eyes

" You woke him up, are you fucking happy now?!" kihyun gave death stares to the duo and went to august's side. he put his hand on his forehead " you've cooled down, how are you? still in pain?" he asked as he was caressing the maknae's hair

" ani, kwenchana hyung. sorry for worrying you all." august said as he was sitting up

" what are you doing? you still need to rest" changkyun said

" i just wanna get out of this room, it's making me sick." 

" ok then, go lay on the couch and i'll make you something to eat." kihyun said before he went off to the kitchen.

august did as he was told. he went to the living room and laid on the couch, putting his head on minhyuk's lap while the older moved his fingers through the maknae's hair.

they all changed their clothes and joined the two in the living room. shownu turned the tv on and went through channels until he stopped at " Along with the gods" .

" hyung! are you gonna make us all cry again?" hyungwon stated

" wae?!" shownu raised a brow

" can't you remember the last time we watched this movie? it was like a funeral ceremony in here! everyone was crying their heart out." hyungwon replied

" not everyone, you, wonho and jooheon only" changkyun said teasingly

" yah! it's not my fault your heart is made of stone! " hyungwon shooted back

" it wasn't just us though. august and minhyuk were silently crying as well. they just hid their tears very well." wonho said

" oh jinja?! august?! i've never seen him cry!" shownu asked surprised

" come to think of it, i've never seen him cry either! even when we were all crying at the end of no mercy, he didn't have a single tear in his eyes." jooheon said

" care to explain why the cold heart and the dumb brain son?" jooheon added facing august

" i get the cold heart but why the dumb brain?" august asked confused

" because your stupid ass thought it was a good idea to climb a tree with unstable branches, that's why man!" jooheon argued

" ah... well it's not like i knew the branch was unstable. and climbing is nothing new to me, i love the view from up there." he simply stated

" i swear to god i'm gonna kill this kid tonight! " jooheon said with his eyes wide open

" yah jooheonie! calm down! he won't do it again." minhyuk said

" moraguyo?!" august looked up at minhyuk when he heard what he just said

" what? are you seriously gonna get yourself injured again? you could've hit your head on the ground you know." minhyuk replied

" but i didn't. i know how to fall to minimize the injuries. and if one day i hit my head or end up dead or something, then that's that. but i'm not gonna stop doing the things i enjoy just in case something bad happens hyung." august replied calmly

" permission to murder a stupid ass kid?" jooheon said

kihyun was listening to their conversation form the kitchen and when he heard august he rushed out to the side of the couch, poking the maknae with the spoon he had in his hand.

" permission granted! YAH AUGUST-SHI!!  dare to injure yourself again and i will break every bone in your body myself, understood?" he yelled at august

august laughed out " aaaa hyung appoooooo!!" he twitched his body as his hyung was poking one of the bruises. 

" well you deserve it" kihyun said " YEAH!" jooheon added

" woah! these hyungs really are thirsty for my blood." august turned his head to wonho's direction

" hyuuuung, will you protect me from the evil hyungnims??" he pouted

wonho melted at the sight and smiled that gummy smile " of course i will, no-one goes near my maknae. i'm warning you guys!" 

" tsk! whatever." jooheon said

" HYUNG! YOU STILL HAVEN'T CHANGED THE FREAKING CHANNEL! CHANGE THE CHANNEL HYUNG!! " hyungwon shouted at shownu

" yeah change the channel before our babies start crying hyunwoo" kihyun told shownu

" CHANGE THE CHANNEL_ CHANGE THE CHANNEL _ CHANGE THE CHANNEL .." they all chanted and burst out laughing at some point at how stupid they were being.

 

through all the laughter, august couldn't help but feel sad deep inside. he knew he was gonna have those nightmares for a while again before they somehow stop again. and he just couldn't bear it. seeing the faces of his parents, blood all over, fire and the screams. and the doctors who told him his parents had died. i could hear his sound of crying in his ears and before he could snap out of it, the tears were falling down from the corner of his eyes but he didn't realize it as he was dragged into the world inside his head, no longer present in the living room.

" am i not right august? ........... august?" at hearing his name, he came back to reality. realizing they must have been talking to him but he didn't hear any of it. 

" augustie! why are you crying baby?" minhyuk said and with that everyone turned to look at august

" crying? i'm not cryi-" he put his hand on his face and saw that his face was indeed soaked with tears.

worry and confusion were wearing the hyungs' faces. 

" what is it then? you can tell us." shownu said putting his hand on august's hand

" ah... mmmm..... nothing that matters ...??" august took a minute to just say that

" you're crying for nothing? " wonho's voice was smooth

" i'm not crying though, the tears came out without me realizing. a side effect of the painkillers maybe?" august tried to turn the subject around

" yeah, good save but no thank you! now talk! " jooheon said

august was thinking of all the things he could say or do to escape the situation. he was opening his mouth to say soething when his phone started ringing. letting out a sigh of relief he stood up and went to the room where his phone was. he was on the phone for a good 20 minutes when kihyun came to the room mouthing to him the dinner was ready. august nodded his head. " ok then, i gotta go now. talk to you later. i love you. bye~" kihyun heard his last sentences while he was heading out of the room.

as august entered the living room again, he found the hyungs deep in the movie they were watching. " Deadpool 1" he thanked god for that cuz now jooheon would be too occupied in the movie to try and get answers out of him. 

" guys, dinner is ready. come pick your bowls." kihyun told everyone and they did as they were told. 

as august finished eating, he crawled next to hyungwon and put his head on his shoulder. he soon fell asleep in that position. as the movie ended, everyone yawned and stretched their bodies. 

" look at these two sleepy heads! " wonho said laughing and pointing at hyungwon and august's direction. hyungwon had his head on top of august's and they were both deep asleep. 

" time to get a picture that'll melt the fans' hearts!" minhyuk said playfully as he took his phone out and captured the moment.

he posted it on his twitter < they watched the movie with their eyes closed.> 

 


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone~ i needed someone who would understand German in this story so let's just assume Jackson can! cuz well... he knows too many languages already and one more wouldn't hurt :')

 

 

It's been 9 months since their debut and today they were going to perform at Mnet. They had practiced day and night for this but somehow they were still stressed. They had become good friends with Got7 and seventeen members but they were precisely close to Jackson because of his and Jooheon's friendship. Today the three groups would perform at the Mnet awards.

they were getting their hair and makeup done, and the members who were already ready, were practicing the dance moves for the one last time.

" oh! what was the move next to this one? " hyungwon mumbled

" yah yah yah! jinja !! come here ." wonho said as he grabbed hyungwon's arm and pulled him to the other side of the room. he started to dance the part hyungwon was talking about in order to remind the younger of the move he'd forgotten.

" aaaah! these two back at it again! " jooheon said with a mischevious smile on his face

" wae? i find it super cute ! " minhyuk said

" there's nothing cute about that honestly. " kihyun said as he passed by the joohyuk :)

 

shownu just laughed at the two and turned his head to see where august was. he found the maknae sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. kihyun noticed shownu.

" did something happen to him again?" kihyun whispered to shownu

" i don't know but he's sitting in the corner again. you know he only does that when he's not feeling well." shownu replied

wonho was walking by them " wonho hyung, is august having nightmares again?" kihyun asked

" august? no.. i mean i haven't noticed anything." wonho answered and turned to minhyuk " minhyuk, is august sleeping well these days? " wonho asked

minhyuk looked up from his ipad " yeah... why? what's wrong?" he looked at kihyun and shownu and they just signaled him towards august's direction.

before they could talk any further, it was time for them to go on stage.

as they were on their way " yo, you ok kid?" jooheon asked 

" yes hyung. " august replied shortly

their performance went just as planned, if not even better! fans were screaming their names and seventeen members were jumping up and down. as soon as they finished, they went backstage to change their outfit and go to their seats.

august's phone was on one of the tables and one of the makeup artists noticed it had been ringing nonstop. she told shownu about it and shownu told august. " i know hyung, don't pay attention to it." was all august said.

Everybody had performed and now it was time for all of the groups to join the stage and perform one last song together with was Gangnam style as usual.

Monsta X were standing in the front right side of the stage. BTS were not far to the left from them. and then behind them were Red velvet and BlackPink. Jackson had abandoned his group and came to stand with Monsta X.

they were all jamming to the song and dancing around when suddenly fire was shot from the front of the stage. everyone was shocked cuz it wasn't supposed to happen. there was supposed to be colorful paper pieces instead of fire but then again, something always HAS to go wrong in the ceremonies! 

when this happened, two people got hurt. one of them being taehyung from BTS who got a minor burn on his hand but it was absolutely nothing serious and the other one was august. he wasn't injured physically though.

August was standing in the front row, lost in the music and dancing, he stood for a split second to look at the audience when his vision was filled with yellow and red flames and sparks. he froze. when the fire was out, he still stood there frozen, trembling, completely out of his mind. his body was shaking so bad and he started taking steps backwards, smashing to people behind him. at first, no one noticed. they thought he was just wilding around and occasionally smashing into others but when he hit wonho and wonho grabbed him by the shoulder, the elder noticed the maknae's frozen gaze and the endless tears that were flowing from his eyes along with his shaking fear.

when wonho held him, he felt his knees going weak and completely powerless. he fell down. shaking even more and staring into space. wonho was out of his mind. everything happened so quickly. no-one else had noticed what was going on yet. but when wonho started to call august's name loudly over and over again, people's attention was caught. no metter how much he called his name, he saw no reaction whatsoever. " what happened? " asked minhyuk in a panic state

" i have no idea. he smashed into me and i found him being like this." wonho replied

" let's get him backstage. there are cameras everywhere here." shownu said and helped wonho picking their maknae up on his knees.

but the cameras have already caught everything. and pretty much everyone on stage was worried about taehyung and confused about august's state.

Members of Monsta X rushed backstage with a shaking august. they sat him down on a chair. shownu grabbed a bottle of water, poured some in a towel and started to put the towel on his face while changkyun was rapidly wiping the neverending tears off august's face while others were calling his name and asking him how he was feeling.

Jackson came backstage as well.

" what happened? " he asked

" we don't know." jooheon replied fast and turned his attention back to his maknae

jackson was about to say something else when he noticed august saying something between his heavy breathing in whispers. [ august is saying these in German but for everyone's sake, imma write it in english! german parts are put in ~ ~ ] 

" ~ fire ~ " 

" ~ they're in the fire ~ " 

" ~ please save them ~ "

" ~ they're in the fire ~ " 

jackson was confused. but he went closer to august.

" ~ who is in fire august ? ~ " jackson asked him

he didn't reply. he was now looking down at his shaking hands.

" ~ august, look at me.~ " 

" ~ who is in the fire ~ " 

august looked up at him. his eyes blood red from all the tears and his breath heavy. " ~ please save them~ " 

and with that, he was out.

an ambulance arrived out of nowhere and took both august and taehyung to the hospital.

their manager went with him and told the rest of them to go there with the van.

" jackson, what was august saying?" hyungwon asked

" i didn't understand what he meant. he kept saying fire and that ' they're in fire, save them.' " 

" did he lose someone in a fire accident or something? " jackson asked looking at jooheon

jooheon looked at others, seeing they were as clueless as him he replied " we have no idea." 

 

 

 


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi ~  
> so when choosing the name 'august', i was happy cuz no-one else had this name in kpop industry and it was unique but today i found out there's a rapper called August D lol :( which is suga?!

 

 

The Mnet ceremony was being broadcasted live and when it finished people were talking and worrying all over social media. They were angry cuz two people got hurt and others got scared to death.

Soon Mnet announced that the staff had messed up and there wasn't supposed to be any fire in the first place which made people even angrier.

BTS uploaded a photo of taehyung, saying he was ok and there's no need to worry. it was really nothing serious after all but the nation's baby had been injured so it wouldn't matter how 'not serious' it was, people still worried. 

and then there was august, this mysterious boy of Monsta X who was either all smily and hyper or all down and quiet who acted so strange during the fire. People were coming up with all kinds of theories as to why august acted that way.

" Our poor maknae :( he is clearly so scared of fire :'( "

" #officialmonstax please update us!!! we are worried about august. " 

" why was he so scared of fire ?! " 

" Augustiieeeee are you ok??? :'( "

" he wasn't hyper like always from the beginning of the night and then this happened. poor baby "

 

 

 

when the members arrived at the hospital, August was taken to a room while the doctors were examining on him and they attached oxygon cuz he was having trouble breathing. when the doctor came out of the room everyone circled around him.

" how is he? " the manager asked

" he is ok now. " 

" what even happened to him?! is he injured or something? " kihyun asked

" no, no physical injuries. he had a panic attack. " 

" a panic attack?! why!! " jooheon asked 

" when usually this happens when people are traumatized of a situation they're at. so with what you said, i'm guessing he had a past with fire incidents. anyway, he's good now but we're gonna keep him for the night just in case. you can go see him now." 

the doctor started walking away when he suddenly stopped and turned around 

" oh and once he opened his eyes, he said to bring his grandfather to him."  and he walked away.

 

manager was looking at the boys " where is august's phone? call his grandfather and inform him about the whole situation." 

shownu had his phone but it was password protected " i have it but how am i supposed to unlock this?! " 

changkyun took the phone off his hands and entered the password and handed it back to the leader.

everyone was questioning him " i wanted to use his phone a while back and he told me the password! " he simply explained.

shownu went through the contacts and called the man.

" what did he say? is he coming? " wonho asked

" yeah... actually! he said he's in korea and he'll be here soon." shownu replied

" doesn't he live in Austira?! and if he's here why august hasn't met up with him?! " hyungwon asked

" i don't know wonnie, let's just go check up on him for now. we can ask him later." shownu said and they went to his room. he wasn't awake though but an oxygon was attached to him which made the situation look a bit scarier than what it actually was.

they just sat there quietly. less than 20 minutes later came rushing in an old man and a girl maybe around 9 yo. he didn't pay any attention to others present in the room at first and went straight to his grandson's side. and the girl grabbed his hand in hers.

" august, wake up son. " he kept talking to him in german and to their surprise he really opened his eyes.  
" auguuust " the little girl's eyes sparkled when august was awake. august looked at her, his face wasn't really happy seeing her. " what are you doing here? " 

" i came with grandpa, i missed you." 

" hmmm..." he just hummed and changed his position to sitting.

he looked to the other side of the room and found his members and manager staring at him.

" i'm so sorry for worrying you. i just keep doing this. " he said with an apologetic look on his face.

they ran to his side immediately. " don't say that maknae-ya." manager said

" how are you feeling? " minhyuk asked

" i'm totally ok.can we go home now? " 

" what? no! you need to stay the night. " kihyun said

" no i don't. i'm ok so let's just go. i don't like it here. it stinks." 

" i know you don't like it here but you have no choice. " manager said and turned to face the old man

" hi halabuji, i'm their manager. it's nice to finally meet you. " they shook hands

" i'm staying with him. you can all go home and rest now. " the old man said

" no you're not staying cuz i'm not staying and we're all going HOME . " and he tried to get out of bed. he was getting so angry for some unknown reason. 

" AUGUST! sit back and don't argue. " the old man demanded and august suddenly obeyed. 

" then call us if you needed anything. i'll see you in the morning son. and... halabuji, can i talk to you outside for a moment please? " manager said

they went out of the room.

the little girl was still holding on to august's hand tightly.

minhyuk caressed her hair smoothly " and who might you be little princess? " 

the girl just looked at him. " she's my sister. " august answered while looking at the girl whose eyes wouldn't leave his brother. " grandpa didn't tell me you came with him." 

" he didn't want to lower our chances of seeing you. " the girl said in a somewhat sad tone.

the members didn't understand a thing of what was going on. the room was completely quiet. august was staring at the kid and for some reason they felt like they've never seen him as sad as he was right now. 

" well then, we'd better get going. see you tomorrow maknae ya" shownu said 

" hyung, please. take me out of here. " he was begging.

" no august, just stay one night. we'll come take you home first thing in the morning." shownu replied

one by one they said goodbye and left the room.

 

while they were on their way back to the dorm, the manager started talking

" guys... i need to tell you something." he had a serious look on his face which made them worry.

" you know how august never talks about his parents? his grandfather told me they both died when he was 13. their house got on fire. his father managed to get the kids out but when he went back to get his wife he didn't come out. " 

no-one said anything. what was there to say anyway? they all just felt sad their brother had to go through that in such early age.

 

 


	7. Seven

Next morning, the manager, shownu and minhyuk went to the hospital. when they arrived, august was nowhere to be found. they panicked, thinking he had escaped the hospital but when they found his clothes in the closet, they figured he's just somewhere around the place. no-one was noticing that the little girl was also missing until they woke up the grandpa. they started searching for the two immediately. the grandpa decided to stay in the room in case they came back. the manager was asking the nurses if they saw them. minhyuk was walking around the hospital and shownu went to search outside and the yard area. after half an hour of searching, he found them and called to inform the others. 

august was leaning against a giant tree, facing the wall so no-one would see them there with a first look. and the kid had her head on his lap, both asleep. shownu shook august slightly and he woke up and noticed the kid.

" what are you doing out here august?!" shownu asked

' i couldn't stand being in there anymore. i needed fresh air.'

he looked down on his lap 'what is she doing here?' 

" i don't know man! she's your sister, not mine!  come on, let's go back. everyone's been searching for you." 

he noticed that august was feeling irritated so he stated " you're gonna be discharged in an hour. so let's go back and get changed and we can leave." 

with that august carefuly hugged his sister and they walked their way back to the room.as they entered the room, his grandpa came rushing to them to check on the little girl. " jesus christ august! she's so cold." 

' i didn't tell her to come with me, it's her fault.'

the old man just glared at him and put a blanket on her as august had laid her on the couch.

' hyung, let's hurry. we have a schedual this afternoon and i need to shower and everything.' august asid

" are you feeling ok though? can you perform? " shownu asked

' i was ok last night! i could go home, but did anyone listen to me? NO! ' 

they noticed that he's being really moody since yesterday, it's not like him to be like this and picking on people like that.

" halabeoji, do you have a place to stay or are you gonna stay in the dorm? " the manager asked

' they have a place. now let's get going.' august answered before the old man could say anything and hugged the girl again and went out of the room straight to his grandpa's car. he placed his sister on the back seat and left the two without a word.

they were completely quiet on the way home. as soon as they put foot in the dorm, everyone came rushing to august asking if he was ok. 

kihyun put his hand on the maknae's forehead, cheking for fever " no fever, good. go shower first, and then we eat." august nodded and left.

" so ? is he totally ok now?" wonho asked the elder

" he seems so. " shownu answered

" but something's really off with him. you'll notice it yourselves soon." minhyuk said

" ok guys, wash up, eat and get ready to go." the manager ordered

and they did as they were told. when august came out of the shower, kihyun sat him down on the table and handed him a bowl of soup and rice along with other side dishes that was august's favorite.

" everybody had eaten already, so just eat and rest." kihyun said

' rest? i'm coming with you guys.'

jooheon and changkyun were passing by " WHAT? no you're not. you're staying in." jooheon stated

' no hyung. i'm coming.'

" hyung, is he for real? are you letting him come today?" changkyun asked the manager

" well he says he's ok. and it's kind of an important interview today so it's better if he's there." the manager replied

" but hyung! this kid is whipped! look at him! " jooheon said pointing at the maknae

' hyung i said I'm fucking fine, ok? stop babying me.' and with that, he left the kitchen, his food untouched as he couldn't really eat anything. 

the hyungs, on the other hand, were surprised by the snap of their maknae. they knew him as the most kind-hearted most patient one so this was something new for them.

They did the performance and the interview. during the whole thing, not once did august smile. he had a straight face on, not angry not sad, just and empty expression, like he was far away in his own world. and the fans had noticed it. once again after the events of the previous day, the social media went insane.

" what was up woth august? he was completely dozzed off" 

" is he really ok? what's going on with him? " 

" didn't he get hurt yesterday? why didn't they let him rest? "and so on.

 the company decided to keep quiet for now but the situation only got worse. they had a very busy two weeks schedule and august did his job like a robot programmed to do things. there was no heart in what he did and he would easily snap at the members, also he was sitting somewhere away from them alone and quiet most of the time. at this point they were worried but they had decided to give him some time.

The fans have guessed august is somehow scared of fire by now cuz during the past week, another incident happened in a live tv show where the pan got on fire on a cooking show and the members immediately ran to check on the maknae. it was a heart-warming scene to see how wonho and minhyuk where making sure he was ok and others were looking worried.

On this particular evening, they had to go to a ceremony with so many of their sonbaes present. so there were gonna be lots of cameras there.

" august, it's ok if you're not feeling like coming tonight." wonho said

" you should just take a day off. " hyungwon added

" yeah kid, just stay in for the night." jooheon said

august just smiled at them and continued getting ready. to be honest, they didn't want him to come tinight cause he was being really weird. like he was out of his mind or something. he seemed like he had no soul in his eyes.

everything was going smoothly at the ceremony until a saesang fan, decided to play a joke on august. as august and changkyun were walking down a path, the person popped out of nowhere with a lighter in his hand and put it right in front of august's face to scare him. august didn't flinch though. instead he stared into the person's eyes and grabbed his hand which he held the lighter with and he brought the person's hand down a little. after that, august put the back of his free hand on top of the lighter's flame and he could feel and smell his flesh burning but his face showed no pain or any other emotion. everything happened quickly but when changkyun noticed what was going on, he immediately took august's hand away from the flame and grabbed him to somewhere private.

" what the hell are you doing man?" changkyun yelled at him

he just stood there looking at changkyun like he wasn't even hearing any words.

" yo august! HELLO! " changkyun waved his hands in front of august but no reaction whatsoever.

suddenly, august just fell on his knees and then leaned on the wall behind him.

" ya august-ie, are you ok? are you hurt anywhere?" changkyun panicked

august looked at the back of his hand, it was burnt and bleeding. and it stinged.

' it's itchy. ' 

" stay here. i'm gonna find some first aid kit or something. stay here , don't move, ok?" 

august simply nodded and kept staring at his hand. changkyun went straight to the members and told them about what had happened and where he was now and they rushed to him while changkyun went to get some first aid kit from the staff.

they found him in the same condition, quiet, looking down on his hand with his knees bent.

kihyun grabbed the maknae's hand and when others saw it, they felt their stomachs twitching. 

" august, does it hurt? " kihyun asked smoothly

august shook his head ' it's just itchy.'

" how can it not hurt? it's burnt really bad" jooheon said somewhat shouting as he didn't have the heart to see his dongsaeng hurt.

" august, why did you do that? why did you hurt yourself? " minhyuk asked while kneeling beside him and caressing his head.

' i did this?' august looked up at minhyuk with round eyes

" you put your hand on the flame august. don't you remember?" minhyuk said while worrying even more

august just stared at him for 2 seconds then returned his eyes to his hands ' i don't remember what happened. i was walking with changkyun and then i was sitting here like this.' 

the hyungs were seriously worried out of their heads now. changkyun came back with their manager.

" come august, you and i are going to the hospital to get that wound fixed." 

he didn't even argue, he just followed his manager.

when they came back to the dorm from the ceremony, august was already asleep.

" hyung, how bad is it? " hyungwon asked the manager

" the wound itself isn't that bad but the doctor said he should see a psychologist cuz this is a case of self-harm and that it has to be dealt with ASAP." 

" he said he didn't remember anything about what happened. i'm really worried about him." wonho said

" hyung, can we give him some time off to get some treatment?" shownu asked

" i'm gonna go to the company tomorrow to discuss this issue. cuz the CEO has already seen the video" 

" what video?!" jooheon and minhyuk asked together

" The video of august doing what he did tonight. it's all over the media. " 

" WHAT!?" kihyun shouted

they grabbed they ipads to check it up. they only heard of it from changkyun but watching it was way more insane. august's eyes were absolutely dangerous staring at the saesang fan like that and yet he had no expression on. there were even articles " IDOL GONE CRAZY " that kind of titles

and the comments weren't friendly at all. some were worried sick, some were attacking.

" this guy is crazy! no sane person can hurt himself with no flinch!" 

" aaaah,,, here we have yet another mental at kpop industry! "

" what has happened to out maknae? he used to be this sweet innocent kid." 

" maybe that sweet innocent kid thingy was all and act." on and on...

 

the members decided to sleep for now and deal with this tomorrow at the company. 

it was 3AM when they heard something crashed. actually, wonho was the only one who woke up from the sound and went to see the source of it. he panicked at the sight. there stood august with a piece of broken glass in his hand, sharp enough to tear the skin, aiming at his wrist. 

wonho ran to august and pushed the glass out of his hand and slapped the younger guy. 

" WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

august looked up and wonho saw tears were rolling down on his face. the maknae suddenly hugged wonho tight. so tight wonho had trouble breathing. other members and the manager ran to the kitchen after hearing wonho shouting like that and they didn't need any explanation to figure out what was happening. august continued crying in wonho's arms while wonho caressed his back. when he calmed down a bit, wonho guided him to the living room and sat him down in the couch.

" august, why do you keep hurting yourself?" he asked him in a sof voice

' it's not me hyung. i didn't even realize i was doing it. i ... i- i only found out what was going out when you slapped me." he said in between tears

" you SLAPPED him? " kihyun punched wonho on the shoulder, but wonho didn't react to it.

" we're gonna see a doctor for all this ok? you can't say no. you're getting worse and you need help." wonho told him while wiping his tears.

" the doctors can't help me. they can't help anyone." 

" why do you keep saying that?" jooheon asked while trying to keep calm

august looked up at him with teary eyes, and everyone's heart ached at the sight of their maknae's vulnerability ' because, they didn't help mom and dad. they said ... they said they're gonna be ok. that it was nothing big. but they died the next morning.' he looked down again ' doctors are useless and i hate them.' 

the members were speechless. how much pain must've he gone through to be this broken. they didn't know how but they knew they had to help their maknae stand back on his feet.


	8. Eight

 

 

The next morning came and they had to go to a meeting with the CEO on the matter. 

" so, august, your manager has told me about everything son. i'm sorry to hear you've gone through so much." the ceo said

' thank you sir.' august simply replied

" moving on, the video of last night is spreading everywhere, we managed to delete most of them but there's just too damn many. i'm afraid we're gonna have an announcement about this." 

they all looked at the maknae while he looked confused.

' what... kind of announcement sir?' august asked hesitantly

" august, we're gonna have to explain the reason of your recent behavior or else people will think you're some psycho and that is bad both for you and for the members." 

august was quiet for a while and then ' i understand sir. do as you please.' 

all the members were observing him closely and they noticed how uneasy he was feeling.

" is there no other way? if we announce it now, there will always be questions about it in the interviews and stuff." shownu said

" i know. believe it or not, i don't like it either but at this point, with last night's incident, we have no other choice." the ceo replied

' it's ok. really. they were bound to find out one way or another. ' he assured them and took a deep breath. ' can i leave now please? ' the ceo nodded and august stood up and made his way to the door. he stopped and turned around, looking at the members ' i'm sorry for dragging you into this. ' and left quickly after that.

the manager signaled the guys to follow him but told shownu and wonho to stay. 

" he has to see a doctor. " the manager said

" we know. but you know he won't accept it." wonho said

" is his problem with the doctors or with the hospital?" the ceo asked

" the doctors,,, i mean ,,, i don't know really... " wonho replied

" what if he didn't have to go to the hospital for the treatment? i can arrange a psychologist to see him at the dorm." the ceo said

" i think that'd be better. " wonho said

" ok then, i'll find a good one. you guys need to keep a close eye on him. don't let anything like last night happen again." with that they were dismissed.

 

~~~~

' Hello, this is StarShip management.

we understand that the recent incidents concerning August of Monsta X had left many people with questions. unfortunately, August had lost his parents at a young age due to a fire accident and he is having a breakdown after the Mnet occurance. He is undergoing treatment right now and will be back when feeling better. we ask for your understanding, love and support towards him. '

 

august was put on a hiatus of maximum 2 months to put himself back together. the fans and the public were all shocked and sad for the boy and most wished him good.

 

 

~~~~

 

 

the next day, a psychologist came to the dorm. the boys had a hard time convincing the maknae to just at least give it a shot and he finally agreed seeing he has no other options.

 

" hello, my name is Ji Chang Wook. and you're august, right?" 

august nodded without really looking at the man. minhyuk was sitting beside him on the couch and he kept rubbing the younger's hand to show his support. august loved it when minhyuk did that. it always calmed him down. if he was gay, he'd definitely fall for this hyung but unfortunately, he was 100% straight.

" well august, i've heard about your hatred towards my kind." 

august looked at him puzzled but still remained silent. honestly, the doctor couldn't be more kind and easy-going but august seemed to keep his guard up at all times.

" can you guys leave us please? i won't push him too much don't worry." 

the guys all looked worried but decided it was best if they did so. they left one by one and august was internally pleading them to stay. now there was only the two of them.

" so ... august, i hear you can't sleep well." august nodded " nightmares? " he nodded again. 

" you know, your company is paying me too much to be here right now, and your hyungs are really worried about you. i know you don't like the doctors, but i'm technically not the kind of doctor you tend to not like. so maybe try and get to know me? give me a chance ok?" 

august remained silent analyzing the man infront of him. ' ok' 

" OK! well,, tell me what you see in your dreams, well .. nightmares." 

' i see... my house burning. with my parents in it.' 

"  is that all you see? " 

'y-yes.' the doctor knew he was hiding something but didn't point it out.

" august, are you suicidal? do you wanna end your life? " 

' no! i made it here on my own and now these hyungs are my family. i'm not even thinking about something like that.'

" then why did you try to cut your wrist? " 

' i ... i don't remember doing that. ' 

" i see..." 

" well we're done for today august. i'm gonna give you some pills to help you sleep for now ok? i'm gonna see you in three days." 

dr. ji left and the manager followed him outside. he came back 20 minutes with a bottle of pills in his hand.

" where's august?"

' asleep ' kihyun replied

" alright guys. sit. dr ji said his condition is somewhat serious. he said we have to support him and endure because through the treatment, he's gonna become worse and grumpy at first and then step by step he's gonna be better." 

" worse? worse how? the kid tried to harm himself twice this week!" jooheon said 

" what are those pills? " changkyun pointed out

" something to help him sleep easy at night? something like that. he's to take one pill every night." 

" so we're going to drug him?! those things do horrible things to the body hyung! " wonho snapped

" do we have any other choice here? " hyungwon told wonho

they all fell quiet.

 

 

august started taking the pills from that day without question. it's as if he had surrendered and had no strength to fight back anymore. two weeks have passed and the doctor had given him two more pills to take daily and the guys were not happy about this. august had become moody. he would go from calm to a yelling and fighting mess to crying to locking himself in the dark. to make the matters worse, his grandfather came to the dorm one day with ashley by his side.

" august, come out. you have a visitor." shownu said

august came out of the room and saw the two

' oh... hi '

ashley ran to august and hugged him tightly. her hair on august's stomach. august looked down on her with no particular reaction.

' what are you doing here? ' 

" i have to leave for a business trip for two weeks... or three. i need you to take care of ashley." 

' WHAT?! ' 

" ashley is staying here with you. i've talked to your manager already." 

august shoved ashley off him ' no, she's not. send her to aunt kelly! ' 

" she's being busy right now." 

' then send her to another home, i don't know! she can't stay here.'

" august enough. she is your sister and you're gonna take care of her. end of the story. " ashley was looking up at her brother with tears in her eyes. she grabbed august's hands and held it close.

august looked at her and then looked away.

" alright, i'm leaving now. treat her well you hear me? bye guys ." he left

 

 

august looked down at ashley while she was looking back at him. he narrowed his eyes and kept looking. he pulled his hand away ' go wash up. i'll make something for you to eat. ' 

' wait... can you bathe yourself? or do you want my help? ' 

" i can do it augustie" she smiled big and ran away.

august was upset and he went to the kitchen to make her a peanut butter sandwitch.

" why are you like that to her? " kihyun asked

' like what? ' 

" cold! as if you hate her or something . " 

' i don't hate her hyung. ' 

" then ...? " 

august didn't answer him .

 

 

a few days passed by and on this day, august was being really grumpy and picky. he woke up to the sound of ashley watching a cartoon and he was irritated by the noise to the most. he came to the living room and found wonho and ashley sitting on the floor, wonho holding her in his lap. minhyuk watching the cartoon with them excitedly while sitting next to them. kihyun was taking a bath and changkyun and jooheon were writing some lyrics in their room. shownu watching silently and  hyungwon was half asleep on the couch as well.

' the hell are you watching? ' 

" yo! it's amazing man! even i'm enjoying it! come sit ." minhyuk said brightly

august was not having any of it  ' ashley ' he just called her name but it was enough to send warning alarms to her. she turned off the tv and ran to the room quickly.

the guys were left speechless. august went to the kitchen and wonho followed him.

" what the fuck is wrong with you? " wonho whispered at first

' what? ' 

" why do you have to treat her like that? is she not your sister? " 

" answer me you punk. i'm tired of your shit always making this pure kid sad. what was she doing wrong just now huh? " 

' back off hyung, it's none of your business.' 

" it is my business when you as her actual brother decide to treat her like your enemy." 

' she is not my enemy.'

 " she's not? really? so what is she? cuz you clearly don't love her ." wonho was shouting at this point

' i love her hyung ok? now drop it.' august was about to leave when wonho grabbed him by the collar 

" i asked you a question. why do you have to always hurt her and treat her like that? why can't you have her around you? " 

' because i feel guilty ok ? ' august teared up. seeing that wonho let go of him 

" what? " 

the other members had all gathered in the kitchen by now, listening.

' i feel guilty towards her. i took our parents, HER parents away from her. ' he said while crying

" what do you mean by that? they died in fire. " kihyun said

' i was the cause of that fucking fire.' 

' she was in her room and we had this fireplace at our house. my mom was tired so she went to sleep and told me to put woods in it. while i was doing so, she started crying loudly and i ran to her immediately not noticing i hadn't put the wood in properly. next thing i knew was my father rushing in, holding us up and running through fire. i did it hyung, i killed my parents. and i can't look her in the eye knowing that. '

 

the guys were about to say something when ashley came running to august, hugging him the tightest she can and crying hard " you're not to blame brother, i never blamed you. if it's anyone's fault it's mine because i was the one crying. i love you so much. please don't feel guilty. " 

 

august hugged her for the first time after so many years and that night they fell asleep in eachother's arms.

 

 

three weeks later~ 

" your plan worked halabeoji! " the manager said

" i knew it would. ashley was the only one who could drag august out of his hell." he replied

" she did wonders. august is almost back to normal. he is now only on one pill per day and i think i saw him laughing the other day! " 

" i'm sad to take her away now though, when they're finally getting along." 

" you can come visit whenever you want, but august now has to rush back into his position in the group and he will be very busy. " 

" i understand. thanks for taking care of my grandson."

 

 

august was finally back. the fans were on the cloud nine. their hyper, happy, naughty maknae was back.


	9. Nine

Monsta X has been growing more and more popular and with that came some super creepy anti-fans as well. Among all the hate comments, there was this one person who started threatening them about a month ago, saying he'd kill them if they don't stop doing gay shit. Honestly, the members couldn't understand why anyone would have problems with some skinship. They've known each other for years now and they've basically showered together so why all the homophobia?! With the rising of ship names, the person's threats got more and more intense.

They were in Japan for a concert when they got this last threat: I'll murder you all when you come back to Korea. you just wait for me. i warned you so you can't complain. it's all your gay asses' fault.

The members were furious. in this year and age, how are there still so many homophobic people? they're not together but what if they were?! what would be so wrong with two boys being in a relationship?! The fans were really worried sick by now and the boys decided it's best to go live and talk about this with their precious monbebe.

" hi guys. wait a bit for people to join and then we're gonna say hi, ok? " minhyuk said

about 5 minutes later, everyone came and sat in front of the camera and said hi to the fans. they were goofing around for a while and then wonho started talking about what they were really doing the live for.

" so i've been wanting to talk about this for a while now, but we decided to ignore it for as long as we could. but i'm not, well we're not gonna be nice about this anymore because you should only be nice to people who are nice to you." 

the other members nodded.

" guys i honestly don't understand why anyone who doesn't like the stuff we do and the way we act and behave, spend so much time watching us and then send us hate comments and threats." minhyuk said

" we love it when people watch our shows and performances but if you're bothered by us, by the things we do, then by all means, don't put yourself under the pressure of watching what you absolutely hate!" hyungwon said

" i just really don't understand why friends touching each other and playing around would mean they're gay! " kihyun said and then touched august's arm " so now that i did this, does it mean we're a couple? it's nonsense! " 

changkyun looked at the comments the fans were leaving " they are talking about the latest threat. they're saying they're worried and we should cancel our korea's concert. " 

" everyone, you don't need to worry about that. our company is doing everything to protect us and as for the korea's concert, the security will be very high so really, don't worry. we're taking care of every possible aspect someone could attack so it's all ok. " shownu, the leader, spoke up

" aight, that's enough of the serious stuff man. let's put on some music and dance and get rid of this gloomy mood. " jooheon cheered them up

 


	10. Ten

August opened his eyes and found himself in a dark room. the only light he could see was the rays that were coming in from somewhere outside of the room through the half-closed door. he tried to move but couldn't. Not really because of the fact that he was tied to somewhere but because he didn't have the strength to move even an inch. his whole body hurt and he could feel the taste of iron in his mouth.

he waited for a while but he got impatient, decided to call for someone. anyone. he opened his mouth and tried to shout out but he couldn't get any actual sound out of his throat. that's when he realized how weak he really is at the moment. he tried again and this time he managed to let some words out. 

' hello? anyone there? ' 

afew moments later, he heard footsteps getting closer. the door slowly opened and someone walked towards him.

" you're awake. finally! although would be better if you just died. " 

' where am i? '

" somewhere no-one can find you." 

the man's voice was calm, too calm and that somehow was creepy to august. 

' who are you? what am i doing here? ' 

" you're here because you didn't take my threat seriously. and when i decided to end you all like i said i would, you decided to play hero. so now you're being punished. your gay ass is gonna die soon. " 

august was dizzy, so he didn't really panic at the man's words. it was like he was floating in the air and he couldn't even feel his own body. suddenly light hit his eyes. he turned to see the man had turned on the tv. the news was on and he saw his picture on the screen along with the words " monsta X member, August, missing." 

missing? he thought to himself. using the light of the tv, he looked around the room. there were no windows. he was lying on a bed with an IV in his hand. he also noticed that his wrists and ankles were tied to the bed. feeling too weak and tired and dizzy to struggle, he decided to ask ' what are you going to do to me? ' 

the man turned to look at him with the remote pressed on his lips " i'm still thinking about that. i could kill you right away and go for the next member. or i could do some experiments on you. see if i can heal you." 

' heal me? ' august asked as he didn't know what he was referring to.

" yes, heal you. help you not be gay anymore." 

august wanted to say something but he felt a warm liquid coming in his mouth and he started coughing. he saw blood on the pillow as soon as he opened his eyes after the coughing has stopped. he was in more pain compared to a few minutes ago. especially in his stomach.

the man came close and wiped the blood off august's chin. august looked the man in the eye ' i'm not gay' 

the man stared at him for a while " yes you are. no straight man would do the shitty things you guys do. " 

' i repeat. i'm not gay. but even if i was, what harm would it do to you? '

" being gay is not acceptable. it's against religion. every religion forbids it. " 

' they also forbid killing innocent people. '

" you are far from innocent. you go against god's will. " 

the man was frustrated. body and voice shaking. august almost immediately figured it all out. 

' what's his name? ' 

the man's eyes widened " what? " 

' the boy you like. what's his name? ' 

" shut the fuck up. i'm not a dirty filth like you. " 

' love has no labels. it's ok as long as you don't harm anyone. and being with someone you love is never harmful. ' 

the man in front of him snapped. as if he was confronted with all of his fears. " maybe i should just kill you and get it over with. " 

he picked up a syringe from the table next to the bed and poured it in the IV. seconds later August's vision went black and he was out.

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i being too evil with this poor kid? ...

 

 

August saw the man put something in the IV attached to his hand. soon he fainted. in his unconscious state, he dug into his memory to remember how he ended up in this situation.

They had come back from Japan and were getting ready for the fansign event. They were all at the dorm, sitting or lying down in the living room in front of the TV watching 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' .

 

' hyung, has the person put any new threats on the fancafé? ' august asked the manager

" no, he's been rather quiet recently. which is a little suspicious but you guys don't need to worry. we're taking care of everything." the manager replied

hyungwon yawned " who picked this boring movie again? " 

" i did, and it's not boring. " jooheon said

" i thought you were a marvel kind of guy." hyungwon said in return

" i am, forever!! but that doesn't mean i won't watch anything un-marvel" 

" is that even a word?!" hyungwon teased him

" shut up" jooheon got sulky " just go ahead and fall asleep in the middle of the movie like you always do. it's not like the genre matters for keeping you awake." 

hyungwon laughed a little louder than he intended and started hitting wonho's back.

" ow ow owwww! " wonho pushed the younger's hand away " i told you my muscles are sore and not to abuse them while laughing and feeling the need to hit someone for unknown reasons." he kindda said it more intense than he intended and regretted his tone almost immediately.

" ay hyung you do the same sometimes. don't yell at my hyungwonnie hyung." changkyun said while hugging hyungwon close and hitting wonho's hand that was still holding hyungwon's hand in place.

hyungwon hugged him back " it's ok kyunie, 1hoE doesn't like me anymore." he pouted

" shut up, you know i hate that hoe thing. it's already enough for our fans to say it, i don't wanna hear it from anyone close. " wonho replied and continued to eat his ramyon.

' the movie is good though, i wish there was a place where you could actually go and get rid of your memories like this movie.' august said , almost like it was meant to be only in his head and with the realization that he had said it out loud, he smiled nervously. 

' i mean,,, you know ,, people always have something they wanna forget, right? for example, i wanna forget the time minhyuk hyung caught me kissing jennie and then telling basically all of you guys in like 30 seconds. super embarrassing. '  august sighed and hid his face in his palms

everyone laughed at the ridiculously hilarious memory. remembering minhyuk running in the waiting room shouting GUYS GUYS OMG OMG OMGGGG till he had everyone's attention.  I SAW AUGUST AND JENNIE KISSING JUST NOW and just after he said it august came rushing in and trying to cover minhyuk's mouth but it was already too late and the hyungs were all looking at him with  OH YOU NAUGHTY BOY kind of look. he basically wanted to just disappear right then and there. 

 

" yah, that was something that needed to be shared instantly or i would actually explode." minhyuk stated matter of factly

august rolled his eyes at him. shownu patted him on the back " it's nothing to be embarrassed by though. you're really young and jennie is really hot, so it's understandable." 

" what is the deal with you guys anyway ? do you have feelings for her or are you just attracted to her sexually? " kihyun asked nonchalantly

' wow hyuuuuun! ' august blushed and jooheon noticed and pinched his cheek. " aigooo our maknae is such a cutie" jooheon said with his dimple showing and eyes almost disappearing in the smile. 

' ay hyung, i told you not to do this. i'm not a kid.' august pouted but didn't push jooheon's hand that was still holding onto his cheek away.

" sure you are. you're our baby." shownu said and hugged him tightly, basically squeezing him to death. when he freed himself from the evil hands that kept squeezing the life out of him , he cleared his throat ' i don't really know kihyun hyung. like shownu hyung said, she really is gorgeous and i always look forward to seeing her in the music shows but i don't know whether it's only sexual or actual feelings ae involved. ' 

" he didn't say gorgeous. he said hot. i think i already know the answer to kihyun's question now! you liiiiike her " wonho teased the younger

' isn't there some kind of a rule against harassing the maknae in korea? there really should be. i could form lawsuits against all 7 of you.' august said and pulled out his his phone from his pocket at the feeling of a vibrate. he unlocked it and saw the name jennie on his screen.

JEnnie: do you guys have a performance on Sunday?

August: yea, why?

JEnnie: i wanna return your scarf you lent me the other day.

August: jennie!! it's fine. you can keep it.

JEnnie: really???? thank you! i love the scarf and i also love the smell of your perfume on it. i kinda wanted to keep it but then i didn't wanna appear rude.

August chuckled at his phone and typed again

August: you're so cute! it's just a scarf so there's no need to thank me.

JEnnie: but now i have to find another reason for meeting you on Sunday

August: ahahaha, let's go for a cup of coffee while waiting. there's also something i wanna talk to you about.

JEnnie: oh now i'm curious and can't wait till Sunday!

August: it's in two days kawai yoja, hang in there.

JEnnie: naeeeee

 

seeing the maknae giggling nonstop at his phone screen, minhyuk couldn't help but look over and see Jennie's name on top.

" aaaaah they're already texting eachother. when is the wedding? i need two months to decide what i wanna wear so tell me in advance." minhyuk said

august wasn't really paying attention to what his hyung had just said ' ok ' but it suddenly hit him ' what? what wedding? don't do that hyung i haven't even asked her out yet.' 

" HA! THERE! i finally got it out of ya! yuahhahaha " minhyuk laughed like the the devil himself

' ha?! ' 

" you finally admitted that you wanna ask her out you idiot." changkyun said while throwing a pillow at him

august sighed ' aaaah... i really need to form a lawsuit for invasion of personal space.' 

 

 

 

and then the next day came. the fansign event. they all greeted the fans and fooled around and finally sat down behind the table. the fans came one by one and they talked and they signed their albums. everything was great. august felt super energetic and happy these days and the members were happy just at the sight of him not being depressed and actually laughing from the depth of his heart. they lowkey thanked jennie for making him feel like this in their heads. their drinks had finished and the guys became thirsty so wonho told the staff to bring them more. a cute young girl came in with drinks in her hands and put one for each member and left. august looked at the girl as she left the room and then left the building while taking a sip of his drink. he was the only one not having a fan in front of him at the moment so he just continued drinking while everyone else was busy interacting with the fans. the more he drank, the dizzier he felt. at first, he thought it's his usual dizziness that happened from time to time but when it got intense and when his stomach began aching, it hit him. the drinks were poisoned.

the pain in his body was growing by the second while he was figuring it all out and looking to his side. he saw wonho grabbing his drink and he panicked, knowing his hyung was about to drink poison. with all the strength he had, he pushed his painful body up and pushed himself to wonho's seat which was at the other end of the table. with one hit he smacked the drink out of wonho's hand and it poured on the ground. wonho got mad almost immediately, looking up to see a very tense figure with drops of blood in the corner of the lips. it all happened so quickly. everyone turned to the source of the sound. looking at wonho and august. august turned the other way and walked through the door that leads to the backstage. as soon as he grabbed the doorknob, he felt like coughing and as he did cough, a massive amount of blood poured out of his mouth into his hand and on the ground. feeling everything going dark, he fainted while his hand opened the door by the push in the process and he landed on the ground with a fierce sound. his upper body was on the other side of the door and the fans could only see his feet now. his body was trembling like crazy. all the members had run to him and the manager had called an ambulance immediately. fans had got it all on camera. and within an hour it was all over the media. " idol got poisoned at fansign" 

august had landed on his stomach and he had hit his head during the fall. he'd hit it hard actually and his left eyebrow had torn a little, bleeding also. it definitely needed stitches. shownu reached him and turned him to his side. he couldn't turn him on his back cuz blood was still flowing out of his mouth. minhyuk almost immediately burst into tears, hugging jooheon. jooheon was panicking, just looking at what was happening. wonho was helping shownu at keeping august in place with teary eyes, barely keeping himself together. kihyun was running back and forth, looking outside for the ambulance to arrive and changkyun and hyungwon were holding onto eachother, also with tears on their faces.

the fans were all screaming and crying at the sight. the ambulance came after 7 minutes. they asked what had happened and after hearing the explanation, one of the two went to the table and grabbed august's drink. they soon left. the manager was the only one who could go with him. " you guys come with the van. come quick. shownu, tell the staff to take care of the things here. " 

they arrived at the hospital and august had 5 people working on him. 

" what's going on ? how bad is it? " kihyun asked the manager

" i don't know kihyun. they're examining the drink to see what type of poison was involved so that they can give him the antidote. right now, they're just cleansing his stomach." 

" why do these things always happen to him? " minhyuk said and sat down holding his face in his hands, crying. 

" it was that fucking bastard. i'm gonna kill him myself. you said you'd take care of everything hyung." wonho's blood was boiling.

the manager was about to say something when a nurse came running from the lab to the room august, was at. 

around 15 minutes later a doctor came out and all the members stood up in an instant. 

" how is he? " hyungwon asked immediately

" he is alive which is what matters the most. although the damage to his body is considerable, it's nothing untreatable. he just needs to take very good care of himself for a while. his eyebrow also took 3 stitches and will probably leave a scar but other than that, your friend will be just fine in a matter of time. he is unconscious but you can see him if you want. have you reported this to the police? " the doctor said

" yes, they're on their way. " the manager said

" ok." the doctor looked at the shocked and teary figures again " guys, he will be fine. no need to worry." 

" yeah, but he hates hospitals and somehow always ends up here. " jooheon said and ran to the room and the others followed.

 

 

 


	12. Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ******* WARNING *******
> 
> yo everyone. this chapter has some intense parts to it. electric shocks and stuff so if you're sensitive to such context, just don't read. thanksss

 

 

The day august was poisoned was crazy. The doctor had told them they were so close to losing him if he hadn't taken the antidote just in time. blood was all over the hall they held their event in and even a little in the street on the way to the ambulance. the fans and even none fans had gone crazy worried about why all this had happened. social media was just overflowing with videos of the incident and the pictures of august's blood on the street. things didn't get better when the next day when the members came back from their schedule, found the room empty with no sign of august anywhere. at first, they thought he had woken up to find himself in a hospital and ran outside in the yard like the last time but when they searched everywhere and didn't find him they started to get worried.

they were all gathered in the room august was supposed to be in again, the manager had asked the doctor to come to the room as they couldn't discuss it in the hall because people could hear. 

" so you're trying to tell me none of the employees has seen him going out of his room? " the manager asked

" i asked around and yes, it seems as if he just vanished." 

" he's a full grown ass man! he can't just vanish for fuck's sake." jooheon shouted as he was going nuts worrying about his dongsaeng

" language jooheon. " shownu said and turned his face to the doctor instead " but he's right. he can't just vanish. can't we check CCTV or something? i'm worried about his condition." 

" that's what has me puzzled exactly. he is in no way in the condition of walking around, even for a few meters. let alone going off to somewhere we can't find him. plus the dose of painkillers we gave him, should have him unconscious for at least 18 hours. he couldn't go out by himself." the doctor stated

the members' expressions began to seem extremely worried as they knew the threats they had received from the unknown homophobic man/woman. 

" so what you're saying is someone had taken him outside? who? did anyone see anything?? did someone come visit while we were gone? " wonho said in a state of panic

" didn't we tell the police officer who stands by the door not to let anyone in besides us? i don't think they'd let people in carelessly." kihyun said

" let me go call him in" shownu said

they both came back in the room. " officer, has anyone come to visit august while we were gone? " the manager asked

" no, doctors came to check on him from time to time." 

" well then have you seen anyone take him out? " changkyun said furiously at how nonchalantly the officer was replying

" no i haven't. " 

" well then explain to us how the fuck he is missing! he is supposed to be here because you are supposed to be protecting the goddamn door to his room." minhyuk snapped

" guys i'm only one person ok? he must have gone outside while i was in the bathroom for like 3 minutes. " the officer replied holding up his hands in the air

" did you check on him when you came back? " hyungwon asked with his fists ready to punch

" no, because a doctor came out of his room the moment i came back so i assumed he was there. " 

the members all sighed in defeat, not knowing where their maknae was.

" let's go check the security cameras for now and wait for him to come back while doing so. " the officer said 

they all followed the doctor to the security room. the process was long as they didn't know since what time of the day he was out. but after around 20 minutes they saw something they wish they never saw. a man dressed like a doctor with a mask on his face went inside the room and came out with august in the wheelchair dressed in a casual outfit and a hat on his face, exactly when the officer went to the bathroom. they immediately went into the state of panic. the officer called the station quickly, explaining the situation to them. an investigating crew arrived around 40 minutes later and asked them all kinds of questions. they decided to report the idol as missing on the news so that people could watch out for him. they also told the members to sit tight and that they were gonna find him.

 

 

 

 

August opened his eyes slowly. feeling a tremendous amount of pain throughout his entire body with a taste of iron in his mouth, he looked around not familiar with the place.

it wasn't like he could see anything though. everything was black. the memories slowly came back to him. he was poisoned. he fainted. he woke up in a strange place with the man that had kidnapped him and poisoned him, and then he had told him he's just gonna go ahead and kill him and now here he is. awake in a dark place again, not feeling one inch of his body and sure as hell not able to move it. it was like he was paralyzed or something.

he waited a while, failed to call out for someone because apparently, he couldn't get any sound out of his throat either. he was suspiciously calm though. like to the state that he himself questioned it. he just seemed to be so out of it to care.

finally, the door opened and the man came in. turning on the light, august shut his eyes close to the sudden change. the man didn't say anything and turned the tv on.

" they really seem to love you. they've been showing your face nonstop for the past three days. " 

three days? he was out for three days? how?! thoughts kept coming to his mind and he started to think how worried his protective hyungs must be. let alone his grandpa and Ashley. oh Asheley must have been crying nonstop. his heart ached at that thought. wanting to get out and go straight to his sister. to tell people he loves he's ok. but he couldn't even move his fucking body.

the man looked at him and laughed in the sickest way possible " oh you're wondering why you can't move a muscle, aren't you? the thing is, i drugged you. you see, i really wanted to kill you and then go for the rest but then i changed my mind, giving you the antidote to the poison i had put in your IV the last minute and instead drugged you to keep you in place." his eyes sparkled " i wanna cure you august. i'm gonna make you healthy and ok." he smiled from ear to ear, really happy with his decision and not feeling he was doing something sick at all.

he went to the corner of the room, picking up some stuff august couldn't see, he came back with something like a stick and put it in august's mouth. " hold on to it, you're gonna need it otherwise you'll choke on your own tongue." 

he put an ECT machine on the desk near the bed and august suddenly knew what was awaiting him. this madman was going for an Electroconvulsive therapy. he continued with installing the two wires on each side of his temples. adjusting the electrical stimulus, he looked at august with some kind of hopeful eyes, wishing to cure this poor soul of his sinful disease. he turned the machine on and august's felt the electricity entering his body with full force. he felt like his body could burn to ashes at any second. eyes rolling back, he felt his entire body shaking and at some point everything went black and he didn't understand a thing anymore. 

 

 

 

 

" THREE DAYS! three days have passed and they haven't found anything on him yet. what the fuck are they doing? " wonho yelled while punching the wall rapidly

hyungwon kept walking back and forth in full speed.

kihyun and shownu came out of one of the rooms and closed the door behind them carefully .

" how is he? " changkyun asked

" not good. he cried himself to sleep. " kihyun said

" it's not like we're not doing good ourselves but i'm really worried about minhyuk. " shownu said

" we all are at the same state as him, he just happens to show it more. that doesn't fucking matter now. why the fuck can't they find him? are we gonna sit around on our asses and not do anything until it's too late? "  jooheon said while tapping his foot on the floor

everyone went quiet. they didn't wanna think that it would ever be too late. they hated the idea but they also couldn't ignore the siren in their heads, going louder with every second passing by and receiving no news on their dongsaeng.

suddenly kihyun burst out in tears and sat down on his knees on the floor, holding his head in his hands " i don't wanna lose him guys. i want him back. i want that brat back here right now. " he said between tears. shownu was first to sit and hug him. wonho joined them next. breaking into tears himself and soon all of them were a crying mess.

 

 


	13. Thirteen

August opened his eyes. his vision was blurry. he didn't know where he was but it was bright, unlike the darkness he had gotten used to. suddenly a face appeared in front of his eyes.

" OH MY GOD! he is awake. guys, he is awake. go get the doctor. hurry." the boy with the white hair screamed

the voices were too much for him so he frowned and looked the other way to ignore the gazes on him. there were multiple heads in front of him. young boys and an old man. he closed his eyes shut until he felt tiny hands on his own. he opened his eyes to look for the source. it was a little girl looking at him with teary eyes. they all seemed to be ready to cry at any second, but why? why would random strangers feel that way towards him? hold that though, where did that man go? why wasn't he by his side anymore? 

 

the door opened and a doctor went straight to august. examining him thoroughly. when he was done he started asking questions. 

" do you know your name? " 

august observed him with an emotionless face. then he looked around the room before he looked back at the doctor. he nodded slowly.

" do you know where you are? " 

the doctor waited for an answer but there was none.

" you are in a hospital. " he said and observed the patient but still no reaction.

" are you feeling uncomfortable for being here ? " august raised an eyebrow at him but remained silent

" can you tell me what happened to you? anything? " nothing. dead silence. then august looked back at the tiny figure next to his bed holding his hand before he put his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. quickly falling asleep.

 

the doctor gestured for them to follow him out the room.

" he seems to have a memory loss" he stated

" but you said his brain didn't show any particular damage." wonho said

" yes, but i also said we have to wait for him to wake up and see." 

they all sighed.

" so is it permanent? " hyungwon asked quietly

" i can't say for sure. we have to run some tests first. just keep him company for now but don't make it too crowded and don't push him. he might panic. " with that the doctor walked away.

 

the guys turned to each other, some sat down, while the others leaned against the wall across the seats.

" what the hell are we supposed to do now? we waited 12 days for him to finally wake up to find out he has lost his memory, possibly permanently." wonho said while he rested his head on the wall, crossing his hands on his chest.

" the poor kid was being tortured by that madman for three weeks hyung. can you blame him? for all we know, he could've been dead had the bastard not abandon him on the countryside. " jooheon said

" but really... what are we supposed to do now? like what do we tell the media? they'll know he's woken up sooner or later." hyungwon asked

" let's wait for the results of the tests first. and we'll have to talk about it with manager hyung when he comes." shownu said

kihyun took a look inside the room from the glass " i feel really bad for Ashley though. she had just gotten him back in her life, now he doesn't even know her. " 

" let's just be happy he's alive for now. we'll figure the rest out later. " changkyun said before standing up and going back to the room. 

 

 

Three weeks ago, the man who had kidnapped august, started performing Electroconvulsive therapy on him. every day he would do the same thing to him and keep telling him he should get rid of the sinful thoughts. august struggled at first, but if he kept it up, the man would simply drug him or increase the voltage so after a few days, he just gave up. figured they'd either find him or he'd die there. 

at some point, he lost track of time. he lost track of his surroundings and all he was familiar with. the only thing he knew was his name because the man kept calling him. he gave up talking. and after a while, it seemed as if he had forgotten how to. on this particular day, the madman came in the room, slapped august to make him wake up and put the wires on his head. august didn't know where he was or why the man was doing this to him. but he only knew this man now, no-one else. and he was willing to get rid of the only person he knew. so he let go. he let go of the will to hold on. and that's how he escaped. you could say that he basically told his body to just shut down and die already. that day, his body went into a shock and his heart stopped eventually. the man panicked. not because he had killed him but because his treatment was unfinished. but there was nothing he could do. he picked up the body, threw him in his car and abandoned it in the countryside. little did he know, that august's heart had started beating again. because his face was all over the news for the past three weeks, passengers had immediately recognized him and reported to the police. he was transferred to Seoul's hospital and had been in a coma for 12 days. there was no sign of abuse on his body other than the red, somehow burnt spots on the sides of his forehead. 

 

 


	14. Fourteen

 

" augustie, come on, let's eat something. " minhyuk said as he held august's hand trying to make him get out of bed. he had been discharged from the hospital for a week now. they took him to the dorm cuz the doctor said it'd help with his memory. also ashley and their grandfather are staying with them for now. 

august looked at him with an empty expression and stood up with minhyuk's force, following the older silently. minhyuk sat him down behind the kitchen table between jooheon and shownu. he stared at the plate in front of him. there was steak on one side, vegetables on the other, mixed with black peas. he frowned at the sight, took the fork in his hand and separated all the peas, pushing them out of his plate. he then started eating. oblivious to the way everyone was staring at him. when he was done eating, his grandfather took him back to the room.

 

" so he still hates black peas." kihyun said

" yeah but what does it mean? that his core remains undamaged? " shownu said looking back and forth between the guys who seemed to be deep in thought

" at least some parts of him seem to stay the same, you know? " changkyun said

" please! he just separated the peas, that's all. he doesn't talk and he doesn't react to anything, not a single emotion on his face. he's like a zombie for fuck's sake. no he's even less than a zombie in his current state. don't try to bullshit yourselves. for all we know, he is lost for good." jooheon snapped at them and threw his spoon at changkyun before standing up and walking to his room. everyone sighed.

" joo is really out of it. the other day i caught him staring at a piece of paper with a pen in his hand for like 45 minutes. he just remained like that the whole time. " changkyun said

" we all are out of it kyun. but apart from all this, what are we supposed to do next week at the Inkigayo? " hyungwon said

" what do you mean? " kihyun asked

" well, we're obviously gonna perform with a member short and then there are gonna be people asking about august and stuff. what are we gonna say? " hyungwon replied

" seriously? all this and you're worried about what you're gonna answer to fucking people's questions? really hyungwon? " wonho said

" hyung please don't get upset. i'm just trying to be prepared beforehand. " hyungwon said

" he's right wonho. we should think about what we're going to say." shownu spoke

" what's there to say? " wonho said furiously " they all know by now that he's not doing good and that he has lost his memory. they will figure out everything themselves like they always do so why lie? instead of thinking about what to reply to other's questions, you should think about what we can do to make him remember. " he ended his talk while his intense gaze was on hyungwon. the younger couldn't keep the eye contact with this angry man in front of him so he just looked somewhere else. they remained silent after that.

 

 

two days after

" guys, gather around please. " the manager said. the boys gathered in the middle of the practice room, sweating and short of breath.

" i have good and bad news. the good news is that the police have found the madman. " 

the boys' eyes widened but they remained silent. 

" but what's the bad news ? " shownu asked

" the bad news is, they have actually caught 4 men that fit the character. so we will have to take august to the station to identify the right one." the manager replied carefully

" hyung! have you lost your mind? we can't take august to that maniac again! " jooheon yelled

" calm down jooheon. we don't have a choice. we have to identify him. " the manager replied

" but hyung he is completely out of it. he doesn't even know us. hell he doesn't even know who and where he is, how is he supposed to identify the guy? " kihyun said

the manager sighed and let his head hang low, " i don't know guys but we have to try. if he can actually identify this person, we can finally make him pay for the things he did, plus we'll know that august still understands his surroundings and remembers some stuff." 

" yeah,,, stuff that will only hurt him again." wonho said and laid on the ground, looking at the ceiling.

 

they were at the station. they'd been told to wait for a while until they get the suspects in the room.

the guys had explained to august the situation but he didn't seem to have understood really. he just sat there completely motionless.

" guys, you can come in now. " the officer said

wonho grabbed august's hand and led him in the room. 

" hello august, i'm namjoon. i'm gonna show you 4 men, can you point at the one who kidnapped you? " august just blinked at him. namjoon seemed confused at the lack of response. 

" ah, he doesn't really react, you know. we're kind of hoping by seeing the guy, he shows some kind of ... well... anything i guess? " shownu explained. namjoon nodded. 

" ok august, they're gonna come in that room behind the glass. you're gonna be perfectly safe. they can't see us standing here. just show me the one who did this to you ok? " 

he observed the silent guy closely and told the others to let them in through the mic. the door opened and the first one came in. they looked at august and nothing. the second one, again nothing. the third one nothing. they lost their hope when the fourth one came in and august's body jerked suddenly and he frowned. he kept staring at the man, looking angry and frustrated as hell. he didn't panic. he didn't cry or try to hide. he just kept staring at the man with the scariest look on his face. like he was ready to kill the guy at any moment. 

" august, is that him? is that the guy who kidnapped you? " namjoon asked carefully

august didn't react at first and kept his gaze on the man on the other side of the glass but then turned to namjoon. he kept the anger still on his face, looking at the officer for 4 seconds before he turned around and rushed out of the room. wonho,hyungwon and jooheon ran after him. they found him outside the station, standing, looking up at the sky, humming some kind of a harmony while his thumbs were massaging the spots on his forehead that were still red from the electrocuting. the guys kept their distance, observing him. and then ashley ran to him. she stopped in front of him, looking at her brother for a moment before she hugged him tightly. august stopped humming and his hands stopped as well. he looked down at the girl attached to his body. he tilted his head looking for several seconds. then he slowly sat down on his knees, staring at the girl in front of him. " so did you identify him august? " ashley asked with wide open eyes and a smile on her face. august kept looking at ther and then suddenly he hugged her. he hugged her and closed his eyes. the guys were shocked at the scene. this was the most reaction and emotion the maknae had shown since they'd got him back. they were so happy they could cry. well actually wonho's tears ran down his face and the other two's eyes were glassy. jooheon ran back in the station and called the others to come and see. they all hurried back and saw what was going on. they just remained the same for what seemed like 4-5 minutes before august let go of her and just sat down, looking at nothing. back to being like a shadow.

 

 

" is he asleep? " kihyun asked

" yes" shownu replied

" oh my god guys! what was that? i can't believe what i saw. i'm so happy. it's strange to be happy about something like this but i really am. " kihyun said

" i know!! me too!! it's like he remembered ashley which is a very good sign." minhyuk said

" we now have to come up with a strategy to somehow show him the things he's familiar with. things he loved doing maybe? " changkyun said

" brain of the group as always kyunie! you're a genius. " wonho smiled from ear to ear and held changkyun's head to his chest, squeezing him.

" we can take him to inkigayo! oh my god that's it!! we'll take him to inkigayo. he loves the environment. the stages. the fans. the other idols. we have to make sure jennie is around as well! " hyungwon said with joy and clapped his hands

" Yasss! the best idea you've ever come up with won!! yess we're gonna take him with us and hopefully, he'll remember. or at least show some reaction." jooheon said while smiling widely

" i'll tell manager hyung in the morning. let's get some rest now. tomorrow gonna be a long day." shownu stated.

 

 

" how did you guys come up with such a genius idea?! " the manager said with his mouth wide open

" genius right? " minhyuk smiled brightly like the sunshine he is " wonie here came up with this! he can be pretty smart when he's not asleep." he laughed out loud. hyungwon threw a death gaze at him.

" i don't wanna be that guy but let's just assume the situation where he doesn't show any reaction today as well. i don't want you guys to be all depressed by the end of the day." the manager said while looking at each member.

" hyung do we need to inform the press that we're going to take him with us today? also, don't be negative please. i have a good feeling about this. " wonho said while putting on his shirt

" hmm,,, yes i guess it's better to tell them beforehand so that they can cooperate. i'll inform them once we arrive. come on, let's go." 

" i'll take him down. you guys go ahead." jooheon said

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Fifteen

Fans and media were informed about August's situation, also about their plan to bring him with them to Inkigayo. Everyone had their fingers crossed for some kind of miracle cuz they missed the talented idol jumping around the stage like he used to. They all held their breath when Monsta X arrived.

One by one they exited the van and Wonho took August out with him, holding his hand. They had decided to take Ashley with them so she held his other hand. The greeted the fans and the 7 of them took the photos while their manager took August and Ashley inside.

Soon the others joined the three and sat on their spots. Other idols came and greeted them while looking at August's direction. Any normal person would be uncomfortable with all the staring but he didn't show any reaction as usual. but he looked up when he heard someone calling his name. Jennie.

" hey august" August took his eyes off the place he was looking at and looked Jennie in the eye. " how are you?" Jennie sat down in front of him and took his hands in hers. of course, they made sure no camera was around cuz they just didn't wanna deal with yet another problem. August kept looking at her. " do you remember you promised to take me to the Han river? when will you? Let's go soon, ok?" she continued talking to him and august frowned, like he was confused or trying to remember something. " i'm going on the stage now, you will watch me perform, right?" he stood up and kissed his cheek before squeezing his hands for the last time and left to go on stage. The stage began and with the sound, his body jerked. Jooheon and Hyungwon were sitting on his sides and noticed this. He was watching the stage carefully. Hyungwon decided to try something so he called his name and to his surprise, august turned his head to look at him. The guys were shook.

" did you guys see that? he reacted to his name!" hyungwon said

" i guess i've never been happier in my life!! " changkyun said

" guys i think this is really working!" Wonho said

" my heart is gonna jump outta my chest!! omg!!" minhyuk screamed

" it's time for our stage guys, let's go." kihyun said

they all got up to go on the stage. Jooheon patted August's shoulder " watch closely kid. this stage is gonna be just for you." 

august,ashley and their manager were now left there. The guys appeared on the stage but before they started to perform, shownu started talking. " hi everyone. as you know, we have august here with us today. could you all chant his name a few times please?" and they did, all the audience started chanting his name over and over again but he kept his eyes fixed on the stage. The guys started performing and it was now the part for hyungwon and changkyun's move ( at 'jealousy'). after seeing that, august took his head in his hands. he kept his eyes shot for a few moments before he stood up and ran towards the exit of the hall.

It was raining outside but he kept running. his manager followed him but from a distance. He ran for a long time before he finally stopped and knelt down, crying his heart out.

The guys appeared out of no where and ran to him. minhyuk hugged him. " august?" wonho said carefully. he didn't receive any replies at first but then he finally spoke.

" he.... he'd electrocute me every day. saying he wanted to cure me. and then he'd go for other members. i ... i wanted to run but he kept me dizzy by drugs. i couldn't even move a muscle. i wanted to warn you guys, to be careful. cuz he was gonna come for you guys soon. i was so scared of something happening to you while he was gone. i'm sorry for forgetting you. i'm so... i'm so sorry." he managed to say in between his sobs.

they all hugged him. " it's ok. we're ok and you're safe now. he is in jail. he won't hurt you anymore." kihyun said

" but what if he escapes? he's not normal hyung. he's very smart, very sadistic. what if he comes after me again? i can't go back to that place. i can't" he cried even harder in their arms.

" no, he won't be able to escape. even if he did, we're gonna be there to protect you all the time, ok? you're safe with us now." wonho whispered to him while caressing his head.

" Ashley. i left Ashley there." he panicked and stood up, looking around but he didn't know where he was. he ha just run nonstop to this place.

" she's ok august. she's standing there with manager hyung. look" hyungwon pointed in their direction. 

August ran to them and hugged his sister tightly. he let go of her after several minutes. 

" by the way..." changkyun said. august looked at him. " just started talking my ass! you and Jennie are totally a thing." he smirked

" Changkyun! now is not the time." shownu said

august started laughing out loud and lied on the ground. he let the rain fall down on him and soaking him. he felt like his pain was being washed away. after all this time feeling void, he now remembered everything again. hee took a deep breath and stared to the infinity of the sky above him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone~  
> or should i say bye?... kkk  
> sorry for the rapid updates. i had written it on another platform and just copy pasted everything here... i hate waiting for updates on stories so i tend to update fast......  
> anyway, i have other stories as well. check them out if you felt like it :)  
> thanks for reading this story till the end. sarang-hae <3


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